Something to Believe In
by Number6of6
Summary: A man and a woman, both lost in their respective worlds.  Can they help each other believe that something good still exists?
1. Chapter 1

Aaron Hotchner sat behind his desk, working hard and extremely focused as usual. He heard the light knock on his door and looked up from the file he was studying.

"You wanted to see me Hotch?" Emily Prentiss asked.

"Yes, close the door and come sit down." Hotch told her.

Emily closed the door slowly while quickly racking her brain trying to remember what she might have done to earn a closed door meeting with her supervisor. She hated closed door meetings with Hotch. He could cut a person in half with his cold steely stares and honest, albeit sometimes, harsh comments. They'd become closer over the years, but he still didn't hesitate to reprimand her and harshly when he deemed it necessary. He typically didn't deem it necessary to reprimand any of them unless they were being reckless and he felt like it was time to reel them back in for their own safety as well as the safety of the team, but she hadn't done anything reckless lately so she wasn't sure why she was about to be sliced open in only the way Hotch could slice a person open.

Hotch glanced up from his paperwork and noticed the look of trepidation in her eyes.

"Relax Prentiss, you aren't in trouble." Hotch said.

"Thank god, I couldn't figure out what I'd done, which makes it difficult to come up with a good lie to back you off." Prentiss replied, drawing what almost resembled a smirk from Hotch.

"You're all pretty terrible liars. You do realize that I back off because I'm usually done saying whatever I had to say, not because you've changed my mind with your fabrications don't you?" Hotch asked in a slightly amused tone as he dropped his pen and relaxed back into his chair.

"Aw come on Hotch, you'd be disappointed if we didn't at least try to put one over on you." She teased.

"No, I'd probably be concerned, wondering if you were sick or something." He returned the tease.

So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Prentiss asked.

" Texas has a death row inmate, Charles LeJohn. He raped, tortured and murdered 17 women that they know of." Hotch told her.

"That they know of?" Prentiss asked.

"They're not sure because he had a partner, a partner they never caught." Hotch told her.

"And what, they want us to pull a death bed confession from him?" Prentiss asked.

"Pretty much. They've asked if we could spare a couple of agents to come to Texas, study the files, revisit the crime scenes, talk to victim's families, talk to the witnesses and talk to LeJohn, see if we can figure out who his partner was before he's executed." Hotch told her.

"When is he scheduled to be executed?" Prentiss asked.

"In nine days. I want you to come with me. I know that the Karl Arnold interview was difficult for you, but you handled it exceptionally and I'm going to need more of that exceptional work if we have any hope of cracking this guy." Hotch told her.

"Yeah, uh, so how much do I resemble the victims?" She asked.

"Other than being a woman?" He asked.

"Come on Hotch, you must need me as some kind of bait, otherwise you'd be taking Reid or Morgan with you." She accused.

"Forget it. I'll take Reid with me." Hotch dismissed her.

"No, wait, Hotch. I didn't say I didn't want to go." Emily argued.

"No, you're questioning your abilities and I don't need that with me on this trip. I need someone who is confident and in charge and obviously that's not you if you think the only reason I want you to assist me is because I want to use you as some kind of bait." He said calmly.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to assume that was the only reason you asked me to go with you. I guess I still believe you don't trust me as much as you trust the guys. I want to go with you Hotch. I can do this." Emily insisted.

"I know you can. I wouldn't have asked you to come along if I didn't believe that." He told her.

"So are we good?" She asked.

"We're good. Here's the case file on LeJohn. It's just a summary, there are boxes of information waiting for us in Texas . Can you be ready to leave in an hour?" He asked, handing her a file and knocking another file onto the floor in front of her.

She reached down to pick up the contents of the file, saw the insurance policies, mortgage papers, copies of Haley's death certificate and a check for $2 million dollars dated five months ago and quickly shoved it all back into the folder. She handed him the folder, made eye contact with him and decided now was not the time to ask him about it.

"I can be ready in an hour." She told him.

"Great, I'll see you on the jet." He said and returned his focus to the paperwork in front of him, his queue that they were done and she was dismissed.

She walked toward the door, opened it and turned to look at him. He was already back into whatever he'd been working on when she entered his office, head down, pen in hand and scribbling notes furiously.

"It must be so chaotic inside his head." She thought to herself and walked away from his office.

Emily boarded the plane and stopped in the aisle. She could see the back of his head and could tell he was on the phone. She didn't want to eaves drop, but didn't want to interrupt him either so she just stood, frozen to the spot and unsure whether she should make her presence known as she couldn't help but hear his side of the conversation.

"I'm working on it Jessica. I have the stack of potential nannies you gathered in front of me right now."

"I promise I will be ready to interview the ones I like by the time I get home."

"He has an appointment tomorrow morning and another one on Friday morning."

"He responds better to the therapist in the mornings because he's not tired and it's more important than anything he's learning in Pre-K."

"Jess, he's going to wet the bed no matter what precautions you take. Just please don't make a big deal about it."

"Yeah, I know you wouldn't do anything to make him feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. I appreciate everything you've done for us. You know that right?"

"I will and thanks. Tell Jack I'll call him tonight before he goes to bed."

Those were his final words or so she thought.

"Are you going to sit down Prentiss?" He asked.

"Yes, I was just…..uh…..trying to give you some privacy." She replied awkwardly.

She walked toward the seats where he was seated and took a seat in the chair directly across from him. To suggest that he looked troubled would've been an understatement, but his body language was screaming "Do Not Disturb" so she didn't, at least not at first. Thirty minutes into the silent flight she finally spoke up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

He didn't verbalize a response, he didn't need to. He could convey more with a look than any person she'd ever encountered in her entire life and right now the look was strongly suggesting he'd rather have a root canal than talk about it.

"Okay, you don't want to talk about it, but you need to." She pushed.

"Prentiss, I'm fine." He grumbled.

"Why do you always push people away?" She asked.

"I don't. The job we do is difficult and requires all of our focus. Burdening one of my agents with my personal baggage would not only be unprofessional it would hinder that focus." He stated coldly.

"We've got a two hour flight ahead of us that doesn't require us to focus on anything and I'm not just one of your agents Hotch, I'm your friend." She told him, unable to hide the anger and the hurt she felt over how easily he dismisses people, even people he should consider his friends.

He picked up on the change in her tone and attitude immediately and he felt a twinge of guilt upon the realization that he'd managed to hurt her feelings by rejecting her attempt to reach out to him as a friend, not just a co-worker.

"Yes, of course you are. I'm sorry. I've got a lot on my plate right now and my fuse is shorter than normal." He apologized in a calm, soft tone.

"Damn, that's pretty short." She teased, forcing a slight smile onto his face.

"I appreciate your concern Emily, but it's personal and it's difficult and I'd prefer to keep it to myself." He said softly.

"Maybe if you talked about it you'd feel better." She offered.

"I wouldn't." He rebutted.

"Okay, then I would. You're distracted by whatever is going on and I don't want to be in the same room with a serial rapist/murderer if you aren't on your game." She challenged.

"Do you really believe I'd allow myself to be so distracted I'd put you in danger?" He asked.

"No, not intentionally, but Hotch, you're human. I know that comes as a shock to you; but you really are, and you need to trust the people who work with you every day." She continued to push.

"I trust you with my life Prentiss." He said.

"But not with your secrets." She countered.

"Why do you care so much?" He asked.

"For the same reasons you do. If the roles were reversed, you'd call me into your office and you wouldn't let me leave until I spilled my guts or you'd assign one of the team to pry it out of me, but either way you wouldn't let me sit and stew." She argued.

"Jack's really struggling and honestly, I don't know how to help him." He sighed heavily, finally giving in to her badgering.

"What's going on with him?" She asked.

"He's acting out at school and he has nightmares, bad ones. He must've been so frightened hiding inside that storage bench, hearing gunshots and hearing his mother's screams as she fought for her life. I know Haley and I know that she tried hard to go quietly for Jack's sake, but when you're terrified and someone is killing you, it's impossible to just go quietly." He spoke softly, regretfully.

"I'm sorry Hotch. I guess we all just kind of hoped Jack was spared the trauma, which was probably naïve, but easier than considering that a four year old knew what was happening." Emily said.

"I don't think he knew at the time that his mother was being killed, but he knew the noises were bad. He wakes up crying hysterically for me in the middle of the night because he can hear her screams. It's heartbreaking." He admitted.

"He wants to know why you didn't save mommy?" She asked cautiously.

He looked at her, his dark eyes boring into hers.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have….." She started to apologize.

"No, it's okay. I didn't save her. I tried, but I couldn't and that's what I tell Jack and he's okay with that. But because Jack is four and believes that he is supposed to be as strong and brave as his father, he's not okay with the fact that he didn't try to save her." Hotch told her his voice soft and sad as it trailed off.

"Oh Hotch, that's so…devastatingly sad." She finally finished, her eyes filling with tears.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both needing the time to compose themselves, the topic of his traumatized toddler too painful for him to talk about for very long and too painful for her to hear about for very long.

"You mentioned a therapist. He's talking to someone?" She asked.

"He spends more time in time-out than at his desk at school. He wets the bed every night and he wakes up screaming at least four times a week. I decided I was in over my head. He's been seeing a therapist for about a month now. It's helping I think, but I need to provide a more stable environment for him. A home with a yard for him to play in and a home that he stays at regardless of how many trips to other states I have to make." He explained.

"So that's what the list of nannies is for?" Emily asked.

"He needs his mother, but I can't do anything about that. Jessica is great, but she has her own life and should be able to just enjoy her nephew, not be responsible for raising him a good percentage of the time. A live-in nanny seems like the most logical option. I never thought I'd be the kind of parent that would let a nanny raise my child." He said.

"The nanny won't be raising Jack, the nanny will just be caring for him while you're working. I had several nannies while growing up." She told him.

"Yeah? How'd that make you feel?" He asked, genuinely interested in how it affected her relationship with her parents.

"Having a person who was solely focused on me and my needs was pretty great. But the nanny was always just that Hotch, just this really great friend that made sure all my daily needs were met. The nanny wasn't a replacement for my parents physically or emotionally." She said.

"But you're mother wasn't dead Emily. I want Jack to have female influences in his life, but I think it would be irresponsible of me to bring a woman into the house full-time knowing how badly he misses and needs his mother." He explained.

"That's a valid concern Hotch. Are there any men in that stack of potentials?" She asked.

"I don't know. I haven't looked at them, but that's a good idea. I don't know why that didn't occur to me." He said.

"Because you're Hotch and men and women fill very specific roles in your mind, not that you aren't open-minded and willing to give people a chance based on their merits rather than their sex, but just that initially that's how your mind works." She told him, making him smile.

"Can I ask you one more question Hotch?" Emily asked.

"Sure." He said.

"Why do you have a five month old check for 2 million dollars in a folder on your desk?" She asked.

"I haven't decided what to do with it. Haley and I took out those life insurance policies a month before Jack was born. I wanted to make sure they would be provided for if anything should happen to me. It never occurred to me that I'd be the one left behind." He said regretfully.

She didn't respond. She couldn't. What could she say that could offer this man any kind of comfort? Nothing. There was nothing she could say to change the fact that he was the one that was left behind, but sometimes listening and not trying to offer a cliché was enough and she was satisfied that this was one of those times. They sat quietly for a few minutes, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, it was a knowing and appreciative silence. He finally spoke.

"Thank you Emily." He said.

"For what?" She asked.

"For making me spill my guts. You were right. I do feel better." He admitted.

"Any time Hotch and since we've studied this file on LeJohn enough, how about we go through that stack of nanny applications. Surely two trained profilers will be able to find the perfect fit for Jack." She offered.

"You think? I think nobody is ever going to be qualified to care for my son." Hotch huffed.

"That's why you need my assistance agent Hotchner. I'm not nearly as emotionally invested as you are and can be more objective." She told him and smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

A couple of hours and three potential nannies later their plane landed in Houston , TX . They checked in with the local FBI field office and began their 80 mile drive to Livingston . The Polunsky Unit, where death row inmates were housed, was located in West Livingston . They arrived at the Polk County Sheriff's Office about an hour and a half later, tired, hungry and ready to find their hotel and settle in for the night. The county sheriff showed them the small room they'd be using to study the case files, gave them a brief description of the town they'd be calling home for the next nine days and sent them on their way with a stack of the files in their hands and directions to their hotel.

They entered the living area of the extended stay suite and set their bags down. Emily looked around, noticed there were two separate bedrooms, one on each side of the living area and a small kitchen complete with a refrigerator and stove.

"Is this part of the bureau's budget cuts? We have to cook our own meals now?" Emily asked.

"No, but judging by the restaurant choices we passed on the way, it might not be a bad idea." Hotch answered.

"Says the man who's never suffered through an Emily Prentiss meal." Emily laughed lightly.

"How bad could it be?" He asked, slightly amused.

"So bad, I haven't used the stove in my Brownstone yet." She told him.

"Prentiss you've been with the team for four years. You really haven't cooked a meal in four years?" He asked.

"Nope, not once. I'm on a first name basis with the delivery boys though. I think I may have even put one through college." She said forcing a half smile onto his face.

"Well, we don't have to use the kitchen, but I thought this would be a better choice than the usual hotel rooms since it's just the two of us. We're in a small town in Texas and we're the FBI. It's probably best if we stay together at all times." Hotch explained.

"Sounds like a good plan. I'm starving Hotch. Can we please go find something to eat?" She asked.

"Sure. Just let me call Jack and we can go." He said.

"Call him from the car. I'll drive." She said.

He handed her the keys to the SUV and climbed into the passenger seat. She began driving through the town in search of what her stomach might be hungry for and couldn't help but smile as she listened to the soft, kind tone he used when he spoke with his son.

"Is it hard?" She asked as she watched him shove his phone back into his pocket.

"What's that?" He asked.

"It seems like you go to a completely different place when you talk to Jack, a place where the monsters you chase don't exist. Is it hard to turn that side of yourself off?" She asked.

"I don't ever turn it off, not really. Kids are innocent and that innocence comes through when you talk to them. Jack makes me forget about the monsters, if only for a few minutes." He explained.

"Huh, maybe I should start calling Jack before I go to bed every night." She said.

"Nightmares are normal." He said.

"Yeah, that's what I hear, but it doesn't make them any less scary." She told him.

"No, I don't guess it does." He agreed.

"Looks like our choices are BBQ and more BBQ." Emily sighed.

"There's a diner over there." Hotch said and pointed to his left.

Hotch sat on the sofa in the living room of the suite, folders spread out across the small coffee table and so engrossed in what he was doing that he hadn't noticed Emily had fallen asleep until he asked her a question and didn't get a response. He turned his head to direct the inquiry at her once again and stopped himself. She was curled up in the corner of the couch, legs pulled up in front of her chest and her head resting on her knees. He looked at his watch, saw that it was well after midnight and felt a little guilty for turning a quick scan of their killer's files into an all night affair. He reached out and shook her gently.

"I'm awake." She mumbled.

"No you're not. Go to bed. It's late." He said softly and stood.

"Mmm…okay, just give me a minute." She said softly.

He watched her stretch out on the couch and immediately go back to sleep.

"Prentiss!" He said loudly.

"I said in a minute! God! Do you ever relax?" She snapped at him, obviously more asleep than awake.

He watched her for a minute, saw that she was asleep again and chuckled lightly to himself.

"Deep sleeper." He mumbled and entered the bedroom where she was supposed to be sleeping.

He returned to the couch with a pillow and blanket, managed to get the pillow under her head and covered her with the blanket.

"Mmm….good night." She mumbled and rolled onto her side, pulling the blanket tightly around her body.

"Good night." He said softly, turned the lights out and entered the other bedroom.

He was awakened a couple of hours later by Emily's screams. He grabbed his gun from the nightstand and ran into the living room. He turned on a light and could see she wasn't being attacked, at least not in reality, but apparently was fighting something pretty scary in her dreams. He set his gun down and sat beside her, taking hold of her arms and calling out to her.

"Emily wake up." He said repeatedly, her eyes finally shooting open, the look of terror in them startling him.

She sat up quickly and began to struggle and slap at him, her eyes open, but still trapped in whatever nightmare she was having. He took hold of her wrists to get her to stop hitting him and held firm.

"Prentiss!" He shouted repeatedly.

She finally came around, stopped fighting him and immediately felt humiliated.

"Hotch, I'm sorry. I was…." She stumbled.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, you can let go of my wrists." She sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked with genuine concern.

"No." She said quietly, her head down, refusing to look at him.

"We all have them Emily." He said softly.

"I bet you don't. Nothing gets to you." She accused.

"I could say the same thing about you." He shot back.

"You could, but after what you just witnessed, you'd be lying. I'm sorry I woke you." She said, grabbing her pillow and blanket and disappearing into her bedroom.

They were up and dressed early the next morning, neither interested in anything more than coffee for breakfast. Their first interview with LeJohn didn't go well. He wasn't interested in sharing information with them, but it was clear that he was interested in Agent Prentiss, too interested. As soon as Hotch saw the way LeJohn was reacting to her, he ended the interview.

"Why did you do that?" Emily asked as she made herself comfortable in the passenger seat and slammed the door, obviously put out with her supervisor.

"He was entirely too into you Prentiss. I appreciate that you and JJ are willing to put yourselves out there on occasion to help us gain useful information, but this guy…I just think it's dangerous to play that game with this guy." Hotch explained.

"Hotch, my exceptional skills aside, you know that one of the reasons I am with you is to get LeJohn's attention and it was working. All you had to do is follow the plan and leave us alone. He's shackled, he can't hurt me." Emily argued.

"Prentiss, I've been doing this job a long time. You need to trust me when I tell you it's not a good idea, not this time. We'll interview the witnesses and the families, go over the case files some more. We'll figure out who his partner was." Hotch stood firm.

"I'm sorry, but I don't agree…sir. Give me another shot at him tomorrow, alone. If I can't get him to open up then…..." She continued to argue.

"I said no." He shut her down.

"Well you're wrong! I can handle myself Hotch. You wouldn't hesitate to send Morgan or Rossi in there and I resent that you're actually pulling this macho shit on me!" She yelled.

"Don't yell at me Prentiss and drop the feminist rhetoric. If LeJohn had looked at Morgan or Rossi the way that he was looking at you, I wouldn't send them in alone either. There's something going on with him Emily. I saw it." Hotch told her.

"Fine Hotch, there's something going on with him, but what's he going to do? He's shackled and you'll be right behind the glass and I trust you not to let anything happen to me. Please. Let me do this." She pleaded with him.

Hotch studied her for a moment. He did trust her to do her job and do it well and she was right in that he would be right there if anything should go wrong.

"Okay, we'll give it a try tomorrow, but the moment you start to feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable I want you out of there. Are we clear?" He asked.

" Crystal ." She said, biting back the grin that wanted to surface. She loved it when she won an argument with him.

They spent the remainder of the day interviewing witnesses and family members and pouring over the case files at the Sheriff's office. Hotch looked up from the file he was studying and across the table at Emily. She looked exhausted and though he'd never admit it, he was feeling the same way.

"Let's call it day." He said.

"Really? It's only six o'clock." She said.

"We've been at it since six AM and neither one of us had much sleep last night. Leave the files here. No more work today." He said.

"But Hotch, it's only six o'clock. What are we going to do for the rest of the evening?" She asked.

"We're going to eat dinner somewhere and rent a movie. There's a DVD player in the suite." He said.

"What are the odds that you and I have the same taste in movies?" She asked, laughing lightly.

"As long as you limit your choice to something light, I'm agreeable." He said.

"Why something light? I had you pegged for an intense, no such thing as a happy ending type of guy." She said.

"I've found that the best cure for nightmares is to not expose yourself to the things that keep those thoughts stirred up. I shouldn't have kept you up so late looking at those horrific images and I apologize." He said in his typical, calm, emotionless tone.

"Hotch, we were working, that's why we're here, to work." She argued.

"There's no need to work through the night. We aren't working against a clock. As far as we know there haven't been any new victims since LeJohn went to prison so there's not an unsub on the loose and if we can't solve this thing in nine normal working days, odds are we can't solve it at all." He said.

"You're the boss. Can you do me a favor though?" She asked.

"What's that?" He asked.

"If we're going to be relaxing and watching a movie, will you at least take your tie off?" She asked, forcing a smile onto his face.

"As long as you promise to keep it between us. I think the team is convinced I sleep in a tie and I'd like to keep it that way." He said, holding the door open for her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you want to arm wrestle for the last slice?" She asked.

"No, you can have it." He said and walked into the kitchen.

"Scared you'll get beat by a girl?" She teased.

"Prentiss, that's never going to happen, but if it were between you and Reid, my money's on you. Want another beer?" He asked.

"Sure. Reid's probably stronger than he looks." She offered.

"No he's not." Hotch replied with a light laugh.

"Then maybe you and Morgan should make beefing him up a priority." She suggested.

"Reid doesn't need to be beefed up. That brain of his is all the brawn he needs." Hotch argued.

"Yeah, but it's got to be tough for Reid, being around alpha males all day, especially an alpha male like Derek and his endless supply of women." Emily said thoughtfully.

"I thought women were into the brainy type these days. Come on Emily, don't you think Reid is kind of cute and cuddly." Hotch teased, sitting down beside her and handing her a beer.

"Very much so, but I prefer seasoned men. Reid's barely marinated." Emily said making Hotch laugh lightly.

"How did we get on this topic?" Hotch mused as he reached for his ringing phone.

She watched him look at the caller ID and then excuse himself as he disappeared into his bedroom to take the call. He returned about 15 minutes later looking distraught. He downed his beer without coming up for air and headed to the kitchen for another one.

"Is everything okay?" She asked almost timidly when he sat back down.

"Is anything ever okay?" He sighed.

"I'm not going to ask if you want to talk about it because you'll say no and then we'll do this whole back and forth thing until you finally relent and talk about it so I'm just going to ask straight up. What's going on with Jack tonight?" She asked and then backed away slightly from the angry glare she received in response.

"God it really pisses you off when someone invades your personal space doesn't it?" She snapped at him, the three beers she'd had making her braver than normal.

"Goodnight Prentiss." He mumbled and stood to walk away from her.

"Sure, go off by yourself and wallow in your misery. You drive me crazy Hotch!" She huffed and threw a breadstick at him, striking him in the back of the head.

He stopped, turned around and bent over to pick up the breadstick.

"Did you seriously just throw food at me?" He asked.

"Only because I couldn't find a rock." She grumbled.

He bit back the grin that was trying hard to escape and returned to the couch, feeling a little less tormented.

"Emily, I appreciate your concern. I guess I'm just not used to sharing. You can relate to that better than anyone right?" He asked.

"I can, but Hotch you need to talk to somebody or you're going to explode. So tell me what's going on with Jack tonight." She pressed.

"It's nothing new really. Jack was having another one of his meltdowns." He explained.

"Isn't that what kids his age do? She asked.

"He never did it before Hal….before all the trauma." He said.

"Are you sure? I mean, you were doing the weekend dad thing so maybe you just never got to experience it before." She offered.

"I wasn't even a weekend dad, more like a once every couple of weeks for a few hours dad." He admitted.

"Do you ever cut yourself any slack?" She asked.

"No, not when it comes to my son. He didn't ask to be here. I brought him into this world and I'm not doing a very good job of taking care of him. I think I really screwed up Prentiss. I should've taken the retirement when Strauss offered it." He said, his voice full of regret.

"I don't agree Hotch. You'd be miserable without this job and Jack's only parent doesn't need to be an unhappy one. I've seen the two of you together. He worships you and what you do. When he gets old enough to understand what happened to his mother, do you really want him to wonder why his dad chose to quit, why his dad didn't move heaven and earth to keep the bad guys from hurting anymore families?" Emily pressed.

"When he is old enough to understand don't you think he'll most likely blame me and this job for getting his mother killed rather than laud me for continuing to do it?" He asked.

"No, I think you blame yourself enough for everyone. So what was the meltdown about?" She asked.

He didn't say anything, his mind obviously deep in thought.

"Hotch." She said.

"Hmmm…" He said.

"Why was Jack so upset tonight?" She asked.

"One of his cousins broke his favorite action figure. I spent 15 minutes listening to him cry for his mother, cry for me to please come home and him finally asking me why everything had to feel so yucky all the time. My four year old feels yucky all the time. Being four should be about magic and wonder and laughter, not yucky." He said sadly.

"So what? You're going to leave the BAU so you and Jack can move to Disney World?" She asked with an edge of sarcasm.

"No offense Prentiss, but you don't understand, you couldn't." He said.

"You're right, I'm not a parent so I have no idea how heavy your heart is at the moment or how awful that must feel, but I know a little about kids and everything for them is in the moment. Nothing is on a grand scale for them. Everything is yucky for Jack because at the moment he's angry over his broken toy and missing his father, but I bet if you were to fly home tomorrow and take him to his favorite park or whatever he'd be shouting happily about how great things are all the time. I know that intellectually you know this Hotch. Jack's life isn't yucky all of the time." She insisted.

"Maybe not, but he's struggling right now and while I appreciate you trying to make me feel better I think that intellectually you know that Jack's situation isn't like most kids and that his meltdowns are most likely a symptom of the trauma he's suffered and not typical toddler tantrums." He said.

"What does the therapist say?" She asked.

"She says the meltdowns are a normal part of his healing process and that I shouldn't give into them. Easy for her to say." He huffed.

"I see. So what did you promise him?" Emily asked trying not to smile, but finding the idea of this hard, stoic, no nonsense man being manipulated by a toddler incredibly sweet.

"Promise him?" He asked.

"Come on Hotch, I've seen those big eyes of Jack's and that sweet little voice is enough to melt anyone's heart so what does it cost to get a four year old to stop crying for his daddy these days? A new video game system? A puppy?" She asked in a teasing fashion and nudged him gently with her elbow, forcing a smile to creep onto his face.

"That's classified information agent Prentiss." He said, his tone light.

"It's okay, I've got a top secret clearance." She said.

"A trip to the zoo." He chuckled.

"You're a good father Hotch. Jack's lucky to have you." She said and smiled.

"Thanks. Are you done with this food or did you want to throw some more of it at me?" He asked and began gathering the boxes.

"I want something sweet. Let's go get some ice cream." She suggested.

"Ice cream sounds good, but it comes with a price." He said.

"And what would that be?" She asked.

"You have to tell me about the dream?" He said.

"Hotch, that's….it's…..no. We aren't discussing my bad dreams." She refused.

"There's more than one?" He asked.

"No, it's been pretty much the same one for months now." She sighed.

"Have you told anyone about it?" He asked.

"No. Do you share your bad dreams with people?" She asked becoming slightly annoyed with him.

"I just shared my biggest nightmare with you Emily. Now it's your turn." He said softly, kindly.

"Hotch, it makes me very sad to consider that you've been dealing with so much and that you keep it all to yourself. Why do you do that?" She asked.

"Probably for the same reasons you do. Do we have a deal?" He asked.

"Okay, but I think I'll have to have a double dip if I'm going to be expected to spill my guts." She grumbled.

They finished their ice cream and relaxed on the couch to watch a movie. They chose "The Hangover", neither having seen it yet, but both having heard much about it. While the movie was amusing enough, it was also mindless enough to lull both of them to sleep about 30 minutes into it. Hotch woke up a couple of hours later, his neck stiff and his arm tingling from lack of circulation. He looked down and found Emily snuggled up beside him, all of her weight on his arm and her head on his shoulder. She looked so peaceful he hated to disturb her, but the tingling in his arm was becoming painful. He reached over with his other arm and shook her gently.

"Emily." He said repeatedly, increasing the volume a little each time.

She didn't stir. He smiled and proceeded to move her off of him, lying her gently onto the couch on her back and standing. He shook his arm until the feeling came back and entered Emily's bedroom. He started to grab a pillow and a blanket but then decided she didn't need to spend another night on that less than comfortable couch and pulled the bed coverings down. He re-entered the living room, scooped her into his arms and carried her to bed. He laid her on the bed, took her shoes off and covered her with the blankets. He exited the bedroom, turned off all the lights and went to bed.

The screams brought him straight up, wide-eyed and ready to fight whatever evil was attacking her. As he reached for his gun his brain finally registered that Emily was having another nightmare and not being attacked by anything more than the evil that had become trapped in her subconscious. He moved quickly to her bedroom, turning lights on along the way so she wouldn't wake up to a dark figure in a dark room. He stopped in the doorway and took in the scene for a moment. The bed coverings were on the floor and she was sitting in the middle of the bed, her back against the headboard, eyes wide open, but not awake, calling, no screaming his name over and over. He moved quickly to the bed, took hold of her arms and began to shake her gently.

"Emily wake up." He said.

She began to thrash around and swing wildly at him, still trapped in her nightmare and convinced the evil in her nightmare had a hold of her. She managed to connect with his face a couple of times and he finally cocooned his entire body around hers and held tight until he could finally wake her up. She turned in his arms, still a little confused and looked at him, her eyes so full of terror he would've done or said anything in that moment to reassure her. She brought a trembling hand up to his face and touched him.

"Hotch? You're okay?" She asked as a single tear rolled down her face.

"I'm fine. Em….." He started, but was stopped when she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and sobbing.

He was stunned for a moment. She was always the strong one, the one that never flinched and at the moment she was a crumpled, sobbing mess and clinging to him as though it were the last time she was ever going to see him. He placed a strong, comforting hand on her back and spoke softly to her.

"Shh…it's okay. It was just a dream. You're trembling so it must've seemed very real, but you're awake now. Talk to me Emily. Tell me what I can do." He spoke in a calm, soothing tone.

"I'm so tired Hotch. I don't want to talk. Will you just stay with me and not force me to talk. Please." She pleaded with him, her entire body shaking against his and not in a good way.

"Sure." He agreed and laid them both down, too concerned about her to find the situation awkward or unprofessional.

She snuggled in as close to him as she could get without crawling inside his clothes, laid her head on his chest and began to settle down when she felt his arm wrap around her.

"I'm sorry Hotch, I'm not normally…I mean…." She stammered.

"It's okay Emily, just try to get some sleep." He told her, still able to feel her trembling and wondering what was scaring her so badly.

She finally settled completely and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep. He watched her sleep for awhile and then allowed his own brain to shut down.

She could smell the fresh brewed coffee and slowly opened her eyes. Hotch was sitting on the edge of the bed, freshly showered, shaved and dressed in his perfectly pressed shirt and tie. She sat up quickly and began rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Shit! Did I oversleep?" She asked.

"No, I took your cell phone out of the room so you couldn't hear the alarm. You needed the sleep worse than we needed to interview those two witnesses this morning. Coffee?" He said and handed her the steaming cup.

"Hotch, I'm fine." She protested and refused the coffee.

"No you're not Emily. I think you need to take some time." He said.

"I don't want to take some time. I just want to get down to the prison and get this son-of-a-bitch to tell us who his partner was or is." Emily snapped at him.

"That's not until 2 o'clock and the witness interviews have been rescheduled for this evening so that gives you plenty of time to grab a shower, get dressed and come talk to me." He told her, noticing that she was about to protest and shutting her down before she had a chance.

"You are going to talk to me Prentiss, or I won't just suggest you take some time, I'll make it a direct order along with the order that you see a psychologist who you will talk to or you won't be allowed back in the field. It's your choice, me or some stranger." He said in his typical no nonsense tone and started to get up from the bed.

"How do you do that?" She asked, grabbing his arm and forcing him to sit back down.

"How do I do what?' He asked.

"Go from this kind, caring friend who acts like he actually gives a damn to this cold, unfeeling unit chief who's letting you know in no uncertain terms that you're screwing up the machinery?" She accused.

"Because the cold, unfeeling unit chief threatening to take away the one thing in life you love more than anything else is the only thing you respond to and let's be clear Emily, I don't give a damn about the machinery and it wasn't an act." He said in a calm, even tone and left the room.

She immediately felt guilty. He'd been so sweet the night before and she knew that he was genuinely concerned about her and not even thinking about how her slowly losing her mind might affect the team, but she'd gone for the jugular anyway. She didn't know why she did it because even though the team liked to joke that Hotch had ice water running through his veins, they knew that he had feelings just like everyone else and that he could hurt just like everyone else and that he probably carried around more genuine compassion than any of them, he just didn't wear his emotions on his sleeve.

"Stop kidding yourself Emily, you know exactly why you did it." She mumbled to herself as she slowly made her way to the bathroom.

Emily had feelings for Hotch, feelings that were growing deeper by the day, and when he didn't live up to what she thought she needed him to be she lashed out at him. It was unfair, but he made her crazy. He was easily the most guarded individual she'd ever known and running into someone who was actually more guarded then herself was rare. In the beginning she was very intimidated by him and he could still manage to back her off with the right glare, but over time she'd grown to understand him and she began to care about him, more so than any of the other members of the team. He seemed so alone and in need of a hug so much of the time that it took everything she had to resist the urge.

Beyond feeling the urge to hug the man, she was also very attracted to him and all of his finer qualities. He was strong, dedicated, heroic, loyal and the fact that he was handsome and sexy didn't hurt either. She wanted them to be closer and for the last few days she'd gotten him to open up to her about things he holds very personal and she was hopeful that eventually they could build on it. So, when he was back in full blown unit chief mode this morning she felt angry and hurt and lashed out. Instead of considering that he resorted to direct orders and threats because he was genuinely concerned about her, she decided to assume he was worried about the team or about how her bouts of insanity would reflect on his ability to lead and that was unfair, because Hotch rarely considered himself when it came to matters like this.

She skipped the bathroom for the moment and walked out to the living area. He was sitting on the couch checking the messages on his phone. He felt her presence and looked up.

"Hotch, I'm sorry." She said.

"Don't be. I know that I'm not known for my warmth." He said.

She approached him, hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

"You're a good man Agent Hotchner. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise." She said and left the room.

"Maybe she really does need a psych evaluation." He mumbled to himself and went back to checking his messages.


	4. Chapter 4

She entered the room about 45 minutes later showered, her hair and make-up perfect, a tight form-fitting skirt and an even tighter form fitting blouse that was unbuttoned low enough to expose the tight, bulging cleavage. He looked her up and down and then made eye contact with her.

"What? You don't like it?" She asked.

"It's a bit provocative for an interview with a serial rapist/murderer don't you think?" He asked.

"We want him to talk right?" She asked.

"I'm still not comfortable with this Prentiss. I've got a bad feeling about it. I think we should call it off." He told her.

"Hotch, I will be fine. Now let's go get some lunch. I'm starving." She insisted.

They sat across from one another in a booth in the back of the restaurant sipping their iced tea and her avoiding the issue she knew he wasn't going to let go of. She sighed heavily and leaned back into the booth.

"I'm sorry my bad dreams are keeping you up sir." She said.

"Nice try Prentiss, but you know I don't care about losing sleep. What is scaring you?" He asked.

"Nothing I swear. It's just that…..the team has been through a lot Hotch and I guess a couple of the bad guys have taken root in my subconscious." She said.

"Which two bad guys are haunting you?" He asked.

"Foyet and Karl Arnold." She reluctantly revealed.

"Was Karl Arnold disturbing your sleep before?" He asked.

"You mean did that prison interview leave me with nightmares? No, I was fine, well as fine as you can be after something like that. I was even okay after everything that happened with Foyet, but then we had Joe Belser taking women hostage in their homes and killing them followed by Dale Shrader holding a man's family hostage and I guess it was just too similar to what you'd just been through because that's when the dreams started." She said.

"Tell me about it." He said.

"It's the same dream every time. They've got you, Foyet and Arnold and no matter how hard we try we can't save you." She admitted sadly.

"We?" He asked.

"Yeah, me and the rest of the team. We always get there just in time to be captured by Arnold and he makes us watch while Foyet kills you. I'm so sorry Hotch, we try, but we just can't get to you in time." She said sadly, her eyes filling with tears as her mind is back in the dream.

He gently places his hand over hers and brings her back to the booth in the restaurant. She grabs a napkin and gently dabs at the tears that are trying to escape.

"Emily, you don't have anything to be sorry for. You know that right? You and the rest of the team, you did everything you could, we all did and Jack is alive because of all of you. Please don't ever forget that because I never will." He told her.

"He's alive and he's traumatized because we weren't as smart as Foyet. When we found that family Hotch I was so happy, but I was also sad because all I could think of was why couldn't you have gotten the same happy ending that Joe Muller got, why couldn't we have been in time to save your family." She said sadly.

"You know I've wondered how Haley's death affected all of you. Maybe it's time we all sat down together and talked about it because I don't want any of you feeling like you failed at anything." He said.

"That's probably not a bad idea because we all worry about you and having the opportunity to hear how you feel about all of it would probably be good for everyone, but Hotch I doubt any of us will ever stop feeling regret over having not been able to save Haley." She said.

"I know." He said.

"So you think my dream is an expression of my guilt. That makes sense and I can't believe I didn't come up with that on my own." She said, realizing that was part of it, but knowing that the feelings she had developed for him were making the dream that much more traumatic. The idea of losing him made her heart ache.

"You were probably too busy trying not to think about the dream to consider what might've been causing it. That's why it's always best to talk about these things with someone." He said.

"Who do you talk to about the nightmares Hotch?" She asked.

"Yeah okay Prentiss I get the point. I need to practice what I preach. I promise you the next time I have a nightmare I will call you." He conceded.

He stood on the other side of the glass watching every move LeJohn made, but apparently not watching everything that needed to be watched close enough. When the security guard had left him alone to watch the interrogation he hadn't noticed the sound of the door being locked. When LeJohn had been led into the interview room he hadn't noticed the guard slipping him a key. He was so focused on LeJohn's facial expressions as he taunted Emily that he hadn't noticed the shackles slowly coming off. He hadn't noticed any of these things and why would he, he'd done these interviews for years and not once had he been subjected to a conspiracy to purposely harm an FBI agent.

Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner was a stickler for the rules, but after the incident with Chester Hardwick he found himself breaking the rules during future prison interrogations by simply forgetting to check the gun holstered to his ankle when he entered the interrogation room, determined to never put one of his agents at risk like that again.

When LeJohn came over the table and attacked her, he forgot about the gun, but immediately went to the door. It was locked. He went to the other door to get help and found it too was locked. He went back to the glass. LeJohn had her pinned to the floor and had already ripped the front of her shirt open. He was about to rape her and force him to stand by helplessly and watch. She fought and he backhanded her. He then flipped her onto her stomach, slamming the side of her head into the cement floor hard and pulling her arm behind her back until something snapped. She cried out in pain and Hotch remembered the gun strapped to his leg. He retrieved the gun, aimed and shot the glass three times causing it to shatter and more importantly giving him a way into the room.

He was on LeJohn before he had a chance to react, pulling him off of Emily and slamming him into the wall. He punched him in the face twice and in the stomach twice. When LeJohn bent over he grabbed him by the back of his prison jumpsuit and threw him headfirst into the next wall he could find. LeJohn pushed off the wall and staggered toward him. Hotch brought his foot up hard into LeJohn's groin sending the large man to the floor on his knees. Hotch kicked him in the side of the head and he went down and stayed down. He dragged his unconscious body over to the table, reapplied the shackles and made his way over to Emily who was in the corner battling the shock that was settling in. He took his jacket off and squatted in front of her just as two armed guards burst through the door.

"What the hell happened?" One guard asked.

"Your guards set us up. Where's the closest hospital?" He asked as he wrapped his jacket around her shoulders.

"No Hotch, I don't need a hospital." She argued.

"Emily, your wrist is broken." He told her.

"Are you sure, maybe it's just sprained." She said and tried to stand up.

He helped her stand and she pulled the jacket closed to cover what her shirt no longer could, crying out when the pain in her broken wrist refused to help with the task.

"Yes, I'm sure it's broken. Can you walk?" He asked.

"Agents, I can't let you leave until I know exactly what happened here." The guard insisted.

"At least two of your security guards attempted to allow a convicted rapist/murderer to rape a federal agent so you'll understand if I'm not all that comfortable with sticking around to see what other fun things you might have planned for us." Hotch told him and pushed past him, his arm around Emily's waist and guiding her out of the two rooms.

"You brought a firearm into an interrogation room. There will be an investigation agent." The guard warned.

"You can count on it. There will be investigators from Quantico crawling all over this place by this time tomorrow." Hotch said and continued to escort Emily out of the room.

He collected their guns and walked her out of the prison, feeling more and more of her weight leaning into him as they slowly made their way to the SUV. He helped her into the vehicle and she closed her eyes.

She could feel the aching in her wrist and the light thumping in her head and she could tell she was in a bed, but what bed or how she got there she had no idea. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. The room was dark and cool and definitely not the same room she'd woken up in earlier that day. She suddenly felt a little panicked.

"Hotch! Hotch!" She called out.

She felt the relief flood through her body when she saw the door open and his familiar face walk into the room. She tried to sit up and nearly screamed against the pain in her chest. He held his hand out and gently pulled her up to a seated position.

"Where am I and why does my chest hurt so bad?" She asked.

"We're in Houston and your chest hurts because you've got some bruising, but nothing is broken. The doctor said you'd be stiff and sore when you woke up, but that the soreness will work its way out once you start moving around." He said.

"Houston? What? How?" She asked as she looked at the short cast on her left forearm.

"You've been pretty out of it, but we drove here after the hospital released you. Strauss called us off and ordered us out of that town when I told her what happened. You can't fly yet so Garcia found us this really nice place to stay for a couple of days. Want to get up?" He asked.

"Yeah, what time is it?" She asked.

"It's the next day Emily." He told her.

She looked down at the clothes she was wearing and then at him.

"How'd I get into these clothes? Whose clothes are they?" She asked.

"The sweats came from the gift shop downstairs and the t-shirt is mine. The pain medication they gave you to set your wrist made you pretty sick." He told her, taking note of the uncertain and somewhat embarrassed look on her face.

"Relax Prentiss, a female agent from the Houston office cleaned you up and helped you change your clothes." He told her.

"I wouldn't have cared Hotch. I'm sure you've seen a naked woman before." She remarked and let him help her walk out of the room.

"One or two." He chuckled, relieved that she was finally coming around.

They entered the living area of what appeared to be a penthouse suite in a luxury hotel and her eyes got wide.

"How on earth did Garcia swing this?" She asked.

"I didn't ask because sometimes it's better not to know where Garcia is concerned, but judging by how upset she was over what happened to you, I wouldn't be surprised if the governor or George Bush himself is footing the bill." He remarked.

"Why can't I fly?" She asked as she slowly sank down onto the comfortable couch.

"You've got a pretty bad concussion. I'm supposed to get you cleared to fly by the local ER doctor in a couple of days." He said.

"No Hotch, I feel fine. Let's go home right now." She argued.

"Strauss said no. She said she wants you to stay put until you're okay to fly. I told her if your head wasn't better in a few days we'd just drive back so relax and enjoy the time off." He told her.

"I'm sorry Hotch. I should've listened to your gut." She said.

"No, I should've listened to my gut. I'm the boss and it was my call. I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner, before he had to the chance to hurt you." He said.

"You got to him Hotch, that's all that matters. Did you shoot the glass? You seriously had a gun on you?" She asked and smiled at him.

"Yeah, Strauss isn't pleased about that part. You're on medical leave and Strauss strongly suggested I take some vacation time. He told her.

"Screw Strauss. He would've raped me if you hadn't come in when you did." She said.

"Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel about it too and I think the fact that she actually gave me the option to take some vacation time rather than just suspending me means she's secretly happy I had the gun on me. Hungry?" He asked.

"I'm starving, but I need to clean up if we're going out." She said.

"We don't have to leave if you don't feel like it. I'm guessing the room service in this place will be out of this world." He offered.

"Is it time for breakfast, lunch or dinner?" She asked.

"It's after six, it's dinner time Emily." He said.

"I've lost an entire day. I honestly don't remember anything after getting into the SUV outside the prison." She said.

"You didn't miss much and once we got you settled in here, you just slept. So what's it going to be? Steak, Lobster, both?" He asked.

"Mmm…both and some wine and something chocolate and gooey for dessert. I'm going to go take a shower." She said and stretched against the soreness in her body.

"I bet when you see that Jacuzzi tub in your bathroom, you'll opt for a bath instead. The lavender foam sucks all the tension right out of you." He told her and she snickered.

"What's funny?" He asked.

"Nothing, I just never would've imagined in a million years that you would allow yourself to enjoy a relaxing bath." She said.

"I don't normally, but it was either punch a hole in the wall or find a way to relax." He admitted.

"Yikes, Strauss does have you on a short leash doesn't she?" She asked.

"Yeah, she won't let me get involved with the investigation into the prison. She says she'll take my credentials for good if I go anywhere near it and I'm pretty sure she was serious." He grumbled and helped pulled her up from the couch until they were facing one another.

"I'm not normally one to take Strauss's side, but I think she made the right call. You're too angry, in fact you're still angry, you're practically vibrating. Maybe you should enjoy another bath." She teased trying to lighten him up.

"I'm sorry Emily. I could've gotten you killed." He said, his voice full of regret.

"It wasn't your fault Hotch. You saved me and you put your ass on the line to do it. I guess this means you're going to reprimand me severely the next time I argue with one of your decisions huh?" She asked and smiled at him.

"Severely." He answered with a half smile.

She moved in closer, kissed him on the mouth and then placed her good arm around his neck and hugged him.

"Thank you for saving me Hotch." She whispered in his ear.

He gently hugged her back and then quickly put some space between them.

"You'd do the same for me. Now go, take your bath or shower or whatever and I'll order the food." He said.

He watched her exit the room and then nervously brushed his fingers over his lips, as if they were burning, not sure what had just happened or how he felt about it.


	5. Chapter 5

They sat together on the couch, her finishing off her third glass of wine and him enjoying the Scotch from the bar in the room. They were full and relaxed and making small talk and he was enjoying her company. They'd become closer over the past few days and he liked that, but he was feeling confused about just how close she wanted them to be, or better yet, how close he wanted them to be. She could tell his mind was elsewhere and gently poked at his upper arm.

"Hey, where'd you go?" She asked.

"Emily, why did you kiss me?" He asked, his tone not revealing how he felt about it.

She decided it was now or never and crawled into his lap and began kissing him, gentle and light at first and then a bit more passionately, feeling her stomach flip when he began kissing her back.

He was kissing Emily and he liked it, he liked it a lot and for a few moments he didn't allow himself to think about anything but how good she tasted and felt. His brain finally began functioning again and he broke the kiss, pulling back and placing a gentle hand on the side of her face.

"Emily you don't really want this. It's the trauma and the wine talking." He said.

"Hotch, I've wanted this for a long time, the trauma made me realize how much and the wine is giving me the courage to go for it." She explained.

"I can't do this Emily." He said.

"Hotch, I know you're worried because you're my boss and because the bureau would frown on this, but I don't care. I can't imagine wanting any other man like I want you." She told him and kissed him again, drawing him back in, but only for a moment before he pushed her away again.

"Emily, stop. Please. I don't care about being your boss or about the bureau because it's none of their business, but I do care about you." He said as he gently moved her off of his lap.

"If you care about me then why are you pushing me away? Are you going to make me beg Hotch?" She teased and began unbuttoning his shirt with her one good hand. He clamped his hand over hers.

"Emily, I'm not sure why you're suddenly intent on seducing me, but trust me you don't want me. I'm a mess and my life is a mess." He continued to resist becoming slightly agitated.

She moved back into his lap and began kissing his neck while she spoke softly and seductively, feeling him relax underneath her.

"Hotch, I'm a grown woman, not some fragile child and I'm fully aware of just how complicated you can be, but I don't care. Do you not want me Hotch?" She asked and moved her mouth along his jaw-line.

"I don't think...I'm not...I didn't know that I wanted you two hours ago." He struggled, feeling his resolve begin to crumble.

"Does that mean you want me now?" She asked and looked into his dark eyes.

"Emily, you're a beautiful, sexy woman and a man would have to be crazy not to want you, but not like this. You've been through a traumatizing ordeal where perhaps my actions may be making you see me differently, but that will wear off and when it does, I don't want you to hate me for taking advantage of you while you were vulnerable." He explained.

"Would you stop suggesting I'm suffering from some silly hero worship schoolgirl crush? You have no idea how great you are do you? I've been falling for you since the day we met and I'm tired of hiding my feelings for you." She told him.

"Fine Emily, but can I at least have a moment to catch my breath and determine what my feelings for you are?" He asked, his tone calm, cool and collected now.

"You kissed me back Hotch. Why would you do that unless you feel something for me?" She asked.

"Maybe it's because I do have feelings for you or maybe it's because I'm a man that hasn't felt something that good in a really long time and just gave into it. Maybe it's a little of both." He sighed.

She was still straddling him and his hands were on her hips. She looked into his eyes and could see something that people never saw…fear. She placed her hand on his face and kissed him softly.

"If anyone deserves to feel something good, it's you, but if you really want me to leave you alone I will. Is that what you want Hotch?" She asked and waited for what seemed like an eternity for him to answer.

"No." He finally said and pulled her closer.

He pushed her hair back away from her face and gently brushed his fingers over the bruising on her left cheek. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, softly at first and then deepened it, feeling a flutter in his stomach that he hadn't felt in so long he'd believed it was something only young men felt. They finally broke for air and he smiled at her.

"I don't want you to leave me alone, but we aren't going to sleep together, not tonight. Call me old-fashioned, but I need you to allow me to take you out on at least one proper date before you have your way with me." He told her.

"I know you're a gentleman Hotch, you don't need to prove anything to me." She said and kissed him again.

"Emily, you've had your tongue in my mouth, I think it'd be okay if you called me Aaron." He said.

"But I like calling you Hotch. It's got a certain charm to it." She said.

"Not to me, not under these circumstances." He argued.

"If I agree to call you Aaron will you agree to let me have my way with you tonight?" She teased and started unbuttoning his shirt again.

He grabbed her busy hand and held it in front of him, kissing her fingers softly.

"No, but hopefully if and when that actually happens you'll be calling out my name repeatedly." He teased back.

"Ugh, you really are going to go all gentleman on me aren't you. Is there really no way I can seduce you? Does Aaron Hotchner really never just cut loose and seize the moment?" She asked and offered a sweet pout to try to persuade him.

"He does on occasion, but this isn't going to be one of those occasions regardless of how cute that pout is. You've got a concussion and you've had quite a bit of wine, which you really shouldn't be drinking, but as usual, you wouldn't listen to your doctor or to me. I want you completely lucid when you decide you want me like that." He said.

"What are you afraid of Ho...Aaron?" She asked.

"There's plenty to be afraid of Emily, but the most pressing issue at the moment is that I not do anything to hurt you. You say you've wanted this for a long time, but it takes a concussion and a half a bottle of wine to get you to be honest with me. Why is that?" He asked.

"Because being rejected sucks, but it sucks less with a concussion and a half a bottle of wine." She sighed and moved off of his lap.

She attempted to stand and walk away, but he took hold of her arm and gently pulled her back down onto the couch.

"Emily look at me." He coaxed.

She lifted her head and looked into his brown eyes.

"I'm not rejecting you. I'm still trying to process the idea that a woman like you wants to be with me. Why would you think I would reject you?" He asked her.

"What woman wouldn't want to be with you? Hotch, Aaron, you're such a handsome, sweet, kind, caring man." She told him.

"Sweet?" He asked with a grin.

"What?" She asked, returning the grin.

"I'm pretty sure I've never been accused of being sweet." He laughed lightly.

"Well that's because no one has ever seen you with your son. Honestly it's the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed." She told him, placing her hand on his face and kissing him again.

He lay back onto the couch, taking her with him. He rolled her onto her back and looked deeply into her eyes before placing a sweet, gentle kiss to her lips.

"I'm not rejecting you. I'd like a chance to get to know you, Emily, not Agent Prentiss. Wouldn't you like to get to know Aaron or is it Agent Hotchner you think you want to sleep with?" He asked, his tone caring and gentle.

"Are they really so different?" She asked.

"I don't know, but don't you want to find out before we jump into bed together?" He asked.

"How long?" She asked.

"How long for what?" He asked.

"How long will it take you to decide if you like Emily or not?" She asked, obviously hurt by his actions, or better yet, his inactions.

"Emily…." He sighed heavily.

"What? You're making me feel like shit Hotch. Just let me up and we'll forget this ever happened." She said and pushed at his chest.

"You're seriously mad at me because I'd like to take a day or two to explore this, this...whatever this is?" He asked, her body still trapped beneath his.

"Jesus Christ Hotch it's just sex. Are you really that uptight?" She snapped at him.

"Forgive me for believing you deserve better than just sex." He told her, his tone calm.

He moved off of her and sat up. He downed the rest of his scotch and stood up.

"Good night Emily." He said and disappeared into his bedroom.

The sound of the door opening caused his eyes to pop open. He knew immediately that it was her and didn't stir, closing his eyes so she'd think he was still asleep. He waited for her to speak, but she never did. He felt her pull the blankets back and scoot in beside him. He stretched his arm out across the mattress inviting her to snuggle up beside him. She snuggled in close, letting her head rest on his chest and letting go of a light sigh when she felt his arm wrap around her.

"Bad dream?" He asked.

"Couldn't sleep." She answered.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm sorry." She said and snuggled in tighter to him.

"Me too." He said.

"Goodnight Ho...Aaron." She said.

"Goodnight Emily." He said and kissed the top of her head.

She opened her eyes and looked around the room. She was alone in the center of the bed and the room was eerily quiet. She was about to pull herself out of the comfortable bed when the door opened about 1/4 of the way and his head popped through the opening.

"I thought you'd left." She said.

"And go where?" He asked.

"I don't know. Away from me." She sighed.

He frowned slightly and entered the room. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her.

"I don't want to get away from you." He told her.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did. Please don't think I'm some sleazy woman that habitually throws herself at unsuspecting and unwilling men. I think the wine made me a bit more honest and aggressive than I would normally be." She told him.

"I don't think that. I don't think anything Emily. I don't have some preconceived notion about how a woman should or shouldn't behave." He said.

"Yes you do, you wouldn't be Hotch if you didn't." She said.

"Emily, just because the man you work for believes in structure and a set of rules that apply to everyone he works with, it doesn't mean that he sets the same type of standards for his personal life. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings because that was not my intention. I'm just trying to do the right thing here." He said.

"I know that and I appreciate that and I'm sorry because all the reasons you gave for not wanting to sleep with me are exactly why I'm so attracted to you." She told him, her tone and her eyes sincere.

"Emily, it's not that I don't want to sleep with you. I want to make sure it's the right thing for both of us. I don't want you to get hurt and I don't want to ruin our friendship." He said.

"I don't want you to get hurt either. I don't think you could handle it, not now. You've been through so much and I should've been more sensistive to that. Have you even been with anyone since Haley left you?" She asked.

"Have you?" He asked, making her grin.

"Okay, I guess we aren't ready to go down that road yet. What is that smell?" She asked.

"It's breakfast. Are you hungry?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think I am. Please tell me you ordered me a waffle." She said with a moan and began moving off the bed toward the smell.

They sat quietly and ate their breakfast. Things weren't awkward between them, which surprised and relieved her, but he seemed different to her. He could feel her staring at him and looked up from his almost empty plate.

"Something on your mind?" He asked.

"You're different." She said.

"How so?" He asked, his tone relaxed and bordering on playful.

"Like that. You're demeanor is different." She said.

"You seem different too, but I don't think either one of us are. I think it's probably because we're looking at one another through different eyes and because we've completely dropped the work facade." He offered.

"Yeah, that's probaby what it is." She agreed.

"Do you feel up to a drive?" He asked and smiled at her.

"Where to?" She asked.

"I figured since we're stuck here and we aren't allowed to work, we might as well have some fun." He said.

"Sounds good, but what's fun in Houston ?" She asked.

"I talked to Garcia and..." He started, but was interrupted by her.

"Wait, you told Garcia what happened between us?" She asked.

"Yes of course. Penelope and I get together every weekend, do each other's hair and talk about our sex lives." He answered sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

"That's a pretty horrifying mental image." She shuddered.

"Are you done?" He asked, pretending to be annoyed.

"Yes, I'm sorry, go on." She said.

"She called me this morning to check on you. I asked her if there was anything around here to do. There's a place called Galvaston Island that has all kinds of parks, museums and galleries. It even has a 19th-century-style sternwheeler that we can take a short cruise on. It's an hour away. Interested?" He asked.

"Seriously?" She asked, stunned that he was suggesting they spend the day together basically playing.

"I know you find it hard to believe Emily, but I do like to have fun occasionally." He told her, his tone light.

"I guess I'm just surprised you want to have fun with me." She said.

He looked at her and the doubt that was consuming her, the doubt he'd put there and he stood. He moved to where she was sitting, took hold of her hand and pulled her up until they were standing face to face, their bodies less than an inch apart. He lowered his head and covered her mouth with his, feeling her tense up briefly and then fully relax into the arms he had wrapped around her, kissing him back with equal fervor. When the need for air became desperate, he broke the kiss and they stood for a moment, forehead to forehead, his hands gripping her sides and her hands holding onto his upper arms. He finally pulled back and looked into her eyes.

"I want to have fun with you Emily. I want to do all kinds of things with you. If you've changed your mind, if you'd rather not pursue this, tell me now. We'll still have fun today, but just as friends." He said.

"I think I like this better when you're the one doing the pursing, you're much smoother than I am." She said, making him smile and kiss her again.

They stood beside the railing on the promenad deck of the 750 passenger paddlewheel boat, arms wrapped around one another's waist, her head resting on his shoulder and both admiring the view of the island from the water. Their day had been enjoyable. It started with a pleasant drive from their hotel to Galveston where they talked and shared personal information about one another. They discovered they shared similar likes and dislikes and learned that many of the preconceived notions each had about the other were pretty much dead on.

He'd taken hold of her hand the moment they stepped out of the SUV and had held on to it on and off throughout the day as they made their way through the various galleries, exhibits and shops. He was very affectionate, keeping them close, his arm around her waist or his hand snuggly entertwined with hers and stealing sweet, tender kisses whenever he could. She liked all the attention, but was surprised at how quickly he'd switched gears. Last night he was unsure if he had these kind of feelings for her and today he was doing everything in his power to make her believe he did share her romantic interest.

"It's really beautiful. This is probably the best day I've had in years." She told him and snuggled closer to his side.

"Me too. Jack would be bouncing off the walls if he could see those giant cruise ships." He said as he pointed his phone toward the large ships docked on the other side of the island and snapped a picture.

"Have you ever done that?" She asked.

"Done what?" He asked.

"Taken a cruise?" She asked.

"Haley and I spent our honeymoon on a cruise ship." He answered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." She apologized.

"It's fine. We spent most of our time too sunburned and too sick to actually enjoy ourselves." He laughed lightly.

"Seasick?" She asked.

"Food poisoning. We got ahold of some bad seafood on the first shore excursion." He groaned at the memory.

"It must've been awful to be that sick and be stuck inside a ship. That's too bad, but I bet a lot of couples have awful honeymoon stories. You know because when you strive to make an event as perfect as possible something is bound to go wrong." She rambled on, feeling a bit sheepish over having brought up painful memories and unsure of how to undo it.

"Emily, it's okay to talk about Haley." He said, taking notice of how uncomfortable she suddenly was.

"I know...it's just...I'm sorry. I'm sure you don't want to talk about the good old days with your dead ex-wife." She reasoned.

"I'd much rather talk about the good times then the bad and just so you know, I made it up to her later and took her to Italy for another shot at the perfect honeymoon. Even though he's been know to fail miserably, Aaron Hotchner does strive for perfection in all facets of his life." He laughed lightly and winked at her.

"Italy huh? Did that turn out better?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, we had a good time, too good of a time." He said.

"How so?" She asked.

"The rabbit died a few weeks later." He huffed and laughed again.

"So Jack was a surprise huh? That's shocking Agent Hotchner." She teased.

He turned and pulled her close, letting his hands rest on her lower back and gazing into her eyes.

"You...this, is a surprise." He said softly, his mouth close to hers.

"Yeah? How do you feel about surprises?" She breathed as his lips grazed lightly over hers.

"It depends on the surprise, and this, this is a very pleasant surprise." He said, his voice just above a whisper as he bit gently on her lower lip before swallowing her in a wet, passionate kiss.

When they finally pulled apart, both were breathless.

"Does this mean you've figured out what your feelings are for me?" She asked.

"Emily, I'm sorry about last night. You surprised me." He said.

"Yeah, and apparently not in a pleasurable way." She said.

"No, that's not true. Work issues aside, I convinced myself a long time ago that it didn't matter what kind of feelings I might have for you because you were never going to return those feelings so I never allowed myself to think about you like that for very long." He admitted.

"Hotch….." She started, but was silenced by his finger gently pressing against her lips.

"Then all of the sudden, there you were, kissing me and trying to undress me and well, you completely caught me off guard. You didn't give me a chance to think and only wanted me to react and trust me, part of me wanted nothing more than to just react, but I couldn't do that, not with so much at stake." He explained.

"It's okay to be scared you know." She said.

"I'm not scared." He objected.

"You're terrified and who could blame you. You've been through a divorce and you've been dealing with the feelings of betrayal that come with that. Then you lost the woman that you will always love in a horrifying, traumatic way and you're still dealing with the guilt and the grief and the loss. If the idea of opening your heart up again didn't terrify you, I'd be worried that you weren't normal." She reasoned.

"It's not my heart I'm worried about Emily, it's yours. It is my fault Haley was murdered and nothing will ever change that fact. That is a guilt all its own, but the guilt that scares me as you suggested is the knowledge that I made her so miserable she felt like to she had to leave, like she had no other options. I really let her down Emily and I don't want to do that to any other woman. Still think I'm normal?" He asked.

"I think you're deliciously normal and if it makes you feel any better Hotch, I'm scared too. I know, I keep calling you Hotch, but Hotch is the man I've been fantasizing about so you'll have to give me time to get used to calling him Aaron." She told him, making him grin.

"You've been fantasizing about me?" He asked.

"Dreaming about you too." She said and smiled at him.

"Emily, you've been dreaming about me getting killed." He frowned.

"Not always, sometimes the dreams are good, very good." She said in a sultry tone and kissed him again.

"How good?" He asked, continuing to hold her close.

"So good I wake up flushed and breathing hard." She admitted with a light blush.

"Wow, that good huh, I'm not sure I can live up to that." He said and kissed her.

"I think you can." She said and smiled at him.


	6. Chapter 6

He parked the SUV and began the task of trying to wake her. They'd spent a lot of time together traveling and he'd never noticed her being such a deep sleeper before and wondered if she was just exhausted and sleeping harder and deeper than usual. Of course he'd never actually witnessed her sleeping except on the jet and nobody except for Reid ever seemed to get comfortable enough to find deep sleep on the jet. He shook her gently and she grumbled something unintelligible at him and continued to sleep. He leaned over and put his mouth to her ear.

"I'm not going to carry you all the way across this parking lot and to the top floor of this place so wake up sleeping beauty." He spoke, his tone loud enough to get her to swat at him, shooing him away as if he were an annoying insect or something, making him laugh lightly.

"Prentiss! Now!" He said in a loud, stern tone.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, confused and not really awake.

"Why are you yelling at me Hotch?" She asked.

"I'm not. We're back. Come on, let's get upstairs." He said and stepped out of the vehicle.

He went around to her side, opened the door and helped her step out. She wasn't fully awake, but she was awake enough to walk. He put his arm around her and led her into the hotel and up to the penthouse where they were staying. He walked her into her bedroom, sat her on the bed, took her shoes off and coaxed her back until her head hit the pillow. He covered her with the blankets and kissed her on the cheek.

"Goodnight Emily." He said softly and left the room.

He heard her shuffling around about an hour later. He heard her run a bath and listened to the wrappers crinkle as she munched on the snacks in the room while watching television. He considered getting up and joining her, but was enjoying his sneak peek into her nocturnal habits and decided he'd just lie still and see what she did next. Just like the previous night he heard the door to his room open and he pretended to be asleep until she scooted into the bed with him. This time he propped himself up on one elbow, turned on the reading lamp and looked down at her, moving his fingers gently over the side of her face.

"Bad dream or can't sleep?" He asked softly.

"Neither. I just feel safer with you." She admitted, still rattled over being attacked.

"You're safe." He said as he brought his mouth to hers and kissed her, her hungry response encouraging him to prolong and deepen the kiss, their tongues dueling for dominance as their bodies quickly heated up.

She could feel his hand moving down her side, his fingers slipping just below the hem of her t-shirt and touching her skin, eliciting a light moan from her. He pressed more of his weight against her as he continued to attack her mouth and neck. His hand moved inside her shirt and cupped her naked breast and she realized he was ready to give her what she was practically begging for the night before and she began to shake uncontrollably. He could feel her trembling and pulled back to look at her, removing his hand from underneath her shirt in the process.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his concern genuine.

"I'm fine. Why'd you stop?" She asked.

"Emily, you're trembling. What's the matter?" He asked, his hand gently caressing the skin on her arm.

"I don't know, I think it's a matter of wanting something so badly for so long and being terrified I'm going to disappoint you now that it's actually happening. Well that and the fact that I haven't had sex since the mullet fell out of favor." She said.

"Oh come on." He argued with a chuckle.

"Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but what if you don't like it. What if you don't find me sexy anymore. What if..." She began to ramble, silenced by him kissing her.

"We can stop, slow this down, take our time, get to know each other a little more personally before we get this personal. Do you want to stop?" He asked.

"What? No! I'm just nervous, but I want to do this Hotch, more than I've ever wanted to do anything. You probably think I'm being ridiculous after last night, but see this is me without the aid of alcohol. I get scared and nervous and lose confidence because you know I'm really not...mmmphhh." She was stopped again in mid ramble with another toe curling kiss that made her forget all of her anxieties and quickly become putty in his hands.

He rolled onto his back, taking her with him and sat up with her in his lap. He gently pushed the wild strands of hair away from her face and smiled at her.

"You think I'm crazy don't you?" She asked and bit lightly at her bottom lip.

"No, I think you're cute. It's good to know that the seemingly unflappable Emily Prentiss can be rattled just like the rest of us." He said and began kissing her neck again.

"What rest of us? When have you ever been rattled?" She asked and then giggled as his nibbling found a ticklish spot.

"I have my moments. Last night comes to mind." He mumbled into her neck and then pulled back to look at her.

She gazed into his soft, brown eyes and noticed how they almost had a twinkle to them and she could tell how genuinely happy and relaxed he was at the moment. She trusted this man with her life day in and day out and as she studied his warm features she wondered if she could trust him with her heart as well. She became overwhelmed with the need to be with him and began attacking his mouth while simultaneously pulling his t-shirt up and off of him. He followed suit, slowly pulling her t-shirt up over head and tossing it to the floor to join his before laying back, taking her with him and rolling her onto her back.

They continued to kiss, his hand finding her breasts and kneading them, pinching the nipple between his fingers and smiling at how quickly it hardened and the way she moaned as he brushed his fintertips over the hardened bulbs. He kissed her face and her neck and moved his mouth to her ear.

"You're so beautiful and so sexy." He whispered and began kissing her shoulders and upper chest.

When his mouth closed over her nipple she lost the ability to speak or move, paralyzed by the feel of his mouth slowly working its way over her body, the only sounds coming from either of them were faint moans as they both became consumed with the pleasure neither had experienced in a long time. Her center was aching for him and when she felt his fingers slip inside the waistband of her sleep pants her hips rose off the bed of their own volition.

He rolled to the side and began slowly pushing the pants away from her, getting them past her knees and taking her nipple into his mouth again while she worked the pants off the rest of the way. He lifted his head and placed his warm hand over her stomach as he took in the view, her naked body lying before him in the soft glow of the bed's reading lamp.

It had been a long time since he'd enjoyed a woman's body, but he wasn't anxious or feeling the least bit out of control. That could all change once the familiar sensation of having a woman's velvet walls wrapped tightly around him drove him to the brink of insanity, but for the moment he, not the hard appendage screaming for attention, was calling the shots and his immediate plans were to make her feel as good as he believed she deserved to feel.

He shifted and he moved his body into the opening she provided for him, hovering over her flushed, eager body and enjoying the feel of her soft hand gliding slowly over his chest and abdomen. He felt her hand slip inside the front of his sweat pants and closed his eyes tight as she gripped him and gently pumped her fist up and down. He let her go for a bit, enjoying the pleasure of being touched by a woman again. Feeling like he'd had all he could stand without ending things prematurely, he lowered his head and began kissing her again, the move distracting her and making her pull her hand away and bring it to the back of his neck and up through his hair.

He began kissing his way down her body, starting with her upper chest and moving slowly down the middle between her breasts, over her breasts and then back down the center again. He kissed her stomach, his tongue gently licking the belly button ring and then down, finding the soft spot on her hip between her lower stomach and upper thigh and marking her. She felt his mouth moving down, his tongue gently licking the creases between her legs and she felt her center flood, moaning and squirming lightly below him.

She felt his tongue licking at her crease in a teasing fashion, the tip just barely touching her and she opened up wider for him, desperate to feel his mouth on her and he didn't disappoint. He closed his wet, hot mouth over her sensitive nub and she grabbed a handful of the sheets with her good hand while her toes dug into the mattress, the feeling as close to bliss as she'd been in a long time. He slowly pushed a finger into her while his mouth continued it's assault on her and that was all it took to push her over the edge.

"Aaron! Oh jesus, don't stop, don't you dare stop...Aaaaarrroon! She screamed as she clamped her legs closed and grabbed a handful of his hair, trapping him where she needed him to stay until she came down from the high he'd just taken her to.

He smiled against her, pleased that he was able to get such an enthusiastic response their first time together. As soon as she released him from her death grip he moved back up her body and kissed her gently while she began pushing at his sweat pants. He looked into her eyes and smiled at her.

"I guess I figured out how to get you to call me Aaron." He teased.

"Take your pants off Aaron. Now." She demanded, making him laugh lightly, but quickly abilge.

She took hold of him and guided his tip to her opening and for a moment he felt unsure, not of his abilities in this department, but of what they were about to do and how once he pushed inside of her everything between them was going to change. Sensing his hesitation she let go of him and placed her hand on the side of his face.

"Make love to me Aaron. You won't make me unhappy, I promise." She told him.

He pushed inside of her slowly and fully, both of them moaning at the feeling. He thrust slowly a few times and kissed her passionately, stopping his thrusts and looking into her eyes.

"You can't make promises like that. Just tell me this feels as good to you as it does to me." He said.

"It's good, so good." She said in a breathy tone, pulling him down, closing her eyes and resting her chin on his shoulder as he continued to thrust into her, bringing her to the height of ecstasy once again. He could feel her biting into the top of his shoulder as the rest of her body quivered beneath and around him and he moved his mouth to her ear.

"Mmm...you're so sweet, so responsive." He whispered and rolled them into a new position.

She sat up, driving him in deeper and smiled down at him. His hands immediately went to her breasts and then around to her back as he sat up to face her, his warm, soft eyes gazing deeply into hers. The shared a wet, passionate kiss and he slowly lay them back down again, encouraging her to stay with him, her body pressed tightly against his. He brought his knees up, held tightly to her bottom and began thrusting into her again, each hard, deep thrust pushing her forward, her breasts sliding over his chest as the heat from their bodies began to form a light, glistening layer of sweat between them.

She lifted her head and hungrily attacked his mouth, eventually latching onto the side of his neck and sucking and biting as the next orgasm built, panting and moaning his name repeatedly as it took hold of her and then crying out when she toppled over the edge, feeling him stiffen and go over with her, grunting and groaning as he released inside of her.

They lay still for a few minutes, their bodies staying connected as their hearts slowed back into a normal rhythm. She felt his hand move gently over her thigh and butt and she raised her head to look at him.

"I don't think I'm ready to let go of you just yet." She teased and pushed her fingers through his thick hair.

"Well, you're definitely in the position to call all the shots." He replied and then winced as she laughed and tightened around him.

"Sorry." She snickered and moved off of him.

"Yeah, I can tell you're all broke up about it." He said with a light laugh, lifting his arm so she could get situated comfortably beside him.

They lay quietly in each other's arms, both caught in that area of post-coital bliss where your brain is torn between processing thoughts and shutting down completely.

"Emily, I have a confession to make." He finally spoke.

"What's that?" She mumbled sleepily.

"There was no female agent from the Houston office around to help when you got sick all over yourself. I cleaned you up and changed your clothes." He admitted.

She lifted her head and looked at him.

"See I told you. You're sweet." She said and kissed him softly.


	7. Chapter 7

He was awakened by the buzzing sound coming from the nightstand. He rolled over to that that side of the bed and grabbed the offending device, seeing that it was Strauss calling and answering quickly.

"Hotchner."

"No ma'am I was awake."

"I'll get her checked out today and let you know."

"I understand."

"No, I knew there would be consequences."

"I will and thank you."

He ended the call, dropped the phone back onto the nightstand and noticed that he was alone in the bed. He looked around the room. It was empty. She and her clothes were gone, his clothes left folded neatly on the chair across the room. Knowing that women without regrets typically stick around to wake up with you, he sighed heavily and moved off the bed. He threw on his sweat pants and t-shirt and left the bedroom. The penthouse was quiet, too quiet.

"Emily?" He called, but got no answer.

He looked around for any clue as to where she might've gone, retrieved his phone and called her.

"Prentiss." She answered, another sign that what had happened the night before wasn't a good thing.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"I'm on my way back to the hotel. I drove to the ER and got myself cleared to fly. Can you call and see if the jet is available?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure. I'll call Strauss and let her know we're coming home." He said.

"Great, see you in a few." She said and ended the call.

When she entered the penthouse his bedroom door was closed. She assumed he was showering and dressing for the day. He surfaced about 15 minutes after she'd returned, dressed casually in Khaki slacks and a polo shirt.

"Wow, they won't recognize you at the BAU ." She teased.

"I'm not going to the office. I've been suspended indefinitely so I'm going to spend some time getting my personal life together. Oh, and the jet isn't available, but Garcia booked us on a flight that leaves around noon. Can you be ready?" He asked, his tone professional with no hint of emotion.

"Hotch, I'm sorry. It's unfair and I'll be sure to let Strauss know that." She said.

"It's not Strauss's decision. It came from higher up. I broke the rules and I need to have my hands slapped. It's just how the game is played. I've already talked to Rossi and Morgan. They'll be in charge while I'm gone." He said.

"Listen Hotch…um…..about last night." She stammered.

"It's fine Emily. We can forget it ever happened." He said taking note of the surprised look on her face.

"That's what you were going to say weren't you? I was just saving you the whole uncomfortable speech where you try to stroke my ego and convince me it's nothing personal." He told her, still no emotion in his voice or on his face.

"Hotch, I just think that it's not a good time for either one of us." She said.

"Like I said Prentiss, it's fine, we're good. Do you want to grab some breakfast before we head to the airport?" He asked.

"Um..yeah, sure, just let me pack my stuff." She said, unsure whether to feel relieved or hurt over his reaction, or better yet non-reaction over basically being dumped.

They sat beside one another on the packed commercial airliner. About an hour into the flight her head began to hurt so bad she got sick. He blocked the view so the other passengers couldn't watch her throwing up her breakfast into a small paper sack and gratefully handed it off to the flight attendant when she was done. He sat back and relaxed in his seat and glanced over at her.

"The ER doctor didn't clear you did he?" He asked.

"Not really." She admitted, eyes closed and head resting against the window.

"That's just perfect Emily. I already told Strauss you shouldn't be in the field until you get that cast removed and now I guess I better let her know you shouldn't be on a desk for awhile longer. Not until you're really cleared." He grumbled.

"I'm sorry! I wanted to go home and you're not taking me out of the field for six weeks." She snapped.

"You've already been taken out of the field. You don't get to make those decisions. Was it worth it?" He asked.

"Was what worth it?" She asked.

"Feeling as bad as you do at the moment; was it worth it just to hurry up and get away from me?" He asked, still emotionless and so damn accurate about everything she'd been feeling that morning it was pissing her off.

"You're technically not my boss right now and I don't have to talk you, so how about we just don't talk anymore. I need to sleep." She said.

He didn't respond. He simply went back to the book he'd been reading prior to her getting sick.

They stepped off the plane, their bags held firmly in their hands. As they cleared the terminal he noticed she was slowing down and stopped to wait for her.

"Go ahead, I'm just going to use the restroom." She told him and disappeared into the ladies room.

When she exited the bathroom he was leaning against the wall waiting for her. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I don't need a babysitter Hotch." She growled.

"Come on. Jessica is waiting to take us to the office so we can get our cars." He told her.

"Oh no, go ahead. I'll just catch a cab." She argued.

"Prentiss, you've got one good hand, you're tired and you're sick. I'm not going to leave you at Dulles to fend for yourself. Let's go." He ordered.

They continued walking and rounded another corner to the happy squeals of a four year old. She stood back and watched him gather his son into his arms and hug him as if he never wanted to let go and the personal knowledge of just how safe and warm those strong arms could make you feel made the moment bittersweet. Had she hurt him? It was hard to tell with him, but the twinkle she'd seen in his eyes the night before was nowhere to be found today, not until the moment he spotted his little boy and she decided that maybe she had hurt him, but that he was never going to let that show.

Would she have preferred he question her and demand to know why she changed her mind? She wasn't sure what kind of reaction she wanted from him, but she was now certain that him having no reaction at all hurt quite a bit and she could feel herself becoming angry. The longer the quiet car ride went on, the angrier she became and when they finally arrived at the FBI Academy in Quantico, she was fuming and looking for a fight, a fight he wasn't going to give her no matter how hard she poked at him.

He handed Emily her bag and grabbed his own. He pulled his now sleeping son out of the car, thanked Jessica and picked up his bag to walk the few spaces to his car.

"I guess I'll see you when you get unsuspended?" She asked.

He stopped, placed the sleeping child into his car seat and turned to face her.

"Yes, but you guys can call me anytime if you have questions. Hopefully it won't be more than a few weeks." He said.

"Hotch we need to talk, this can't fester for a few weeks." She told him.

"Emily if there's anything festering, it's because you are allowing it to. I told you we're good. Business as usual." He said.

"How do you do that? How do you just flip a switch and turn into this cold emotionless robot that doesn't give a damn about anyone or anything?" She yelled.

"Please lower your voice before you wake Jack. I'm not going to fight with you Emily, especially not here, but keep in mind that there's a big difference between not showing emotion and not caring. Good night. I hope you feel better." He said and walked away from her.

Three weeks into his six week suspension, Rossi decided to pay him a visit. They sat in the living room together enjoying a drink, keeping their voices low so they wouldn't wake Jack. Rossi noticed the different flyers of different homes that were on the market and picked one up.

"Moving?" He asked.

"Hopefully, but not that one, it's the one on the bottom, the one with the wrap around porch." He said.

"Nice. A little large for one and a half men though don't you think?" Rossi asked.

"Actually, it'll be two and a half men. I hired a live-in nanny." Hotch told him.

"A male nanny?" Rossi asked.

"He seems like a very nice and dependable young man and he and Jack hit it off immediately. Jack needs a mother too much right now for me to bring a woman into the house to live with us. Nothing good could come from that." He said.

"Something good could come from that for you." Rossi remarked with a smirk.

"That's wrong on so many levels Dave." He said and laughed lightly.

"You really need to consider getting back in the game Aaron." He said.

"No thanks Dave, that's a game I don't think I have the energy to play anymore. Women can be so mentally exhausting." He sighed.

"True, but they can also be physically exhausting and that's a good thing." Dave told him with a smile.

"When did you become such a dirty old man? Oh that's right, you've always been this way, it's just more disturbing now that you're old enough to be somebody's grandfather." Hotch said in his best disturbed voice.

"You're just jealous because I have women young enough to be my granddaughter throwing themselves at me." Rossi shot back.

"Yeah that's it because spending an evening with a girl who can't talk without saying "Like" every other word and who can't stop texting long enough to place an order at a restaurant sounds like such a good time." Hotch said sarcastically.

"When did you become such an old man?" Rossi laughed.

"I am an old man and even if I could endure the cerebral assault of a woman that young, the days of marathon sex are long gone." Hotch said.

"If you get it right the first time, there's no need for a marathon." Rossi said with a cocky grin.

"Yep, that's the trick isn't it, getting it right the first time." Hotch agreed solemnly and stood to freshen their drinks.

He handed Rossi his fresh drink and sat back down. Rossi studied his long-time friend and colleague for a few moments and finally spoke.

"Did something happen with Emily while you were Houston?" Rossi asked, watching Hotch closely to gauge his reaction to the question, which of course there was nothing to gauge because Hotch was, at this point in the game, an expert at masking whatever he might be feeling at any given moment.

"Other than her being attacked? No. Why do you ask?" He asked.

"She hasn't been the same since she got back. She's moody and irritable and sad. Do you suppose it's PTSD?" He asked and Hotch immediately thought back to that night they'd spent together, the way she'd crawled into bed with him because he made her feel safe.

"It's possible. She's not in the field right now though so let's give her some time to work through it. If she's not better by the time I get back I'll deal with it." He said.

He walked into the BAU fresh off a six week suspension and probably more rested and relaxed than he'd been in years. It was early and nobody was in yet. He dropped his things in his office and moved to the break room to make coffee. As he stood waiting for the brew light on the coffee maker to go off he thought back to those days in Houston and he wondered what had gone wrong. He'd been thinking about it for six weeks, replaying everything over and over and he was at a loss which left him to conclude that he just wasn't what she thought she wanted. He was so deep in thought he never heard her approach.

"Welcome back." Emily said.

"Thanks, it's good to be back." He said and turned to face her.

"I see you got your cast off." He said and nodded at her arm.

"Last Friday, which means you have to put me back in the field." She told him.

"Why don't you let me decide when you're ready to be back in the field." He said and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"But you said…" She started to argue.

"I said you shouldn't be in the field until you have the cast removed, I never said it would be immediately after the cast was removed. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a lot of work to catch up on." He said and walked away.

She watched him go up the stairs and into his office and close the door and if looks could kill little Jack Hotchner would now be an orphan. She took the stairs two at a time and stormed into his office without knocking, slamming the door behind her and closing his blinds.

"Prentiss what do you think you're doing?" He asked.

"So what is this? Are you punishing me?" She asked.

"Punishing you for what?" He asked calmly and sat in his chair, not the least bit appreciative of the fact that she was approaching him and about to be in his face.

"You know what for. Did I just ruin my career by sleeping with you?" She asked and backed away, the anger in his eyes and all over his face the scariest look she'd ever seen from him.

"Sit down Prentiss….Now!" He said sternly.

"Let's get something straight Agent Prentiss. Regardless of what happened between us, I am and always have been nothing but professional when it comes to this job and part of my job is to make sure I'm not sending agents suffering from PTSD out into the field. I made that mistake once and I won't make it again." He told her.

"PTSD? What makes you think I have PTSD?" She asked in a calmer tone, feeling a bit stupid and embarrassed.

"According to both Rossi and Morgan you've not been yourself which is understandable, what you went through was scary and would leave anyone feeling shaken, angry and vulnerable." He explained.

She couldn't believe it. He was fine. He was the same old Hotch, always alert, always looking out others and always ready to understand when someone else was struggling and show genuine heartfelt compassion for those struggles even though he never allowed himself to struggle over anything. He hadn't given what happened between them a second thought and she'd done nothing but obsess over it since she'd been back. She could compartmentalize, but this man was a machine and it made her angry.

"You really don't care do you?" She spat angrily.

"Care about what?" He asked.

"About us, about what we shared." She said.

"Would it do me any good to care Emily?" He asked with just the slightest edge of sadness or defeat in his voice, the first, albeit miniscule sign that he actually had been affected by what happened between them.

"You didn't even ask me why. You just shrugged and carried on. God Hotch, how can you do that?" She asked.

"Again, would it have done me any good to ask why? Would you have been happier if I had gotten angry and demanded an explanation?" He asked.

"It would've been better than you not caring at all, then you just basically telling me that the night we spent together and I meant nothing to you." She said.

"Wait a minute. You wake up weird and ready to flee and I decide to give you your space and not push the issue and keep things between us friendly and I'm the bad guy? What do you want from me Emily?" He asked.

"I want you to care Aaron." She said as a single tear rolled down her face.

"I care Emily. I care about you. I care about whatever it is that made you no longer interested in me and I care that you're sitting there crying and it's apparently because of something I've done, although I have no idea what, but if this is some game, if you want me to beg you for answers…..well, I'm too old and too tired to play games like that." He said.

Her single tear had turned into a river of tears and she was sitting in his office sobbing. He finally moved from behind his desk and squatted in front of her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"What can I do?" He asked, confused and unsure of what to do.

"Can I um…..have the day off sir?" She asked.

Now they were back to protocol. He couldn't keep up with her.

"Take as much time as you need." He said and returned to the chair behind his desk.

Emily left for the day and Hotch spent the day in his office, head down and focused on the mounds of files in front of him. He went home around 6 PM, had dinner with his son, bathed him, played with him, read to him and tucked him in for the night. By 10 PM he was relaxing on the couch waiting for the nanny to come home so he could secure them all for the night. Around 10:30 PM there was a light knock on the door and he moved to open it.

"First day on the job and you already forgot your key." He teased as he opened the door, not finding Jeremy the nanny, but Emily.


	8. Chapter 8

Discontinued due to a lack of interest. Those of you who left a review, thanks, I appreciate it and I'll try to come up with something more interesting next time.


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